Moral of the Story
Author: Valetta Anderson
About the Play:
Why does Harry Hare, television spokes-hare for the National Hare Council on Carrots, race his longtime friend, Tommy Tortoise? And why can’t Harry’s niece, Harriet Hare, spell carrot? This modernized children’s play contains an ancient Ibo (northern Nigeria) legend and reveals what inquiring minds have always wanted to know… the inside scoop behind Aesop's most famous Fable and why tortoises have cracked, lumpy shells.
Cast List:
Mommy Hare: Harriet Hare’s mother and Harry Hare’s sister.
Harriet Hare: Vivacious, Rudy-of-Cosby-Show like, floppy eared rabbit, niece of Harry Hare.
Harry Hare: Loser of Tortoise and Hare Race, Harriet Hare’s uncle, Mommy Hare’s brother.
Tommy Tortoise: Winner of Tortoise and Hare Race.
Reporter Tortoise: Television reporter.
Starter’s Voice (Offstage): Offstage Starter of Tortoise and Hare Race.
Ibo Tortoise: Tortoise with shiny, smooth shell.
Skybird: Emissary from Skyland to Ibo Tortoise’s forest.
Time & Place: Present day Hare Town and ancient Iboland.
From the Play:
The Scene: Harriet Hare’s home living room on a quiet street in Hare Town.
The set contains a television. It is after school, before dinner. Mommy Hare is helping Harriet Hare study her spelling words.
Scene 1
Mommy Hare: Apple.
Harriet Hare: Apple. A P P L E. Apple.
Mommy Hare: Very good.
Harriet Hare: Can I turn the TV on, now?
Mommy Hare: One more. Button.
Harriet Hare: Button. B U T O N. Button.
Mommy Hare: No, Harriet. Button is spelled with two Ts. Now spell it, again.
Harriet Hare: But Mommy! We’re going to miss Uncle Harry’s commercial!
Mommy Hare: Then you’d better hurry.
Harriet Hare: (very fast) Button. B U T T O N. Button. Now Mommy? Please?!
Mommy Hare: Just one more. Carrot.
Harriet Hare: Oh, Mommy, EVERYBODY knows how to spell carrot! Please, can I turn the TV on?! Please, Mommy, please?!
Mommy Hare: Alright. Turn it on.
(Harriet turns the TV on and Harry Hare pops up within the television.)
Harry Hare: Carrots! Can’t beat them! Carrots! Know why I eat them? They’re just bursting with beta-carotene that’s so good for my skin! Carrot Salad! Carrot Soup. Carrot-Raisin Cookies! And my all time favorite, Carrot Cake! Carrot sauce over rice is so very nice! Any way you fix them, carrots taste as good as they are good for you! Eat carrots raw for a snack that can’t be beat! Eat them steamed. Eat them boiled. Eat them baked. Eat your carrots for goodness sake! Brought to you by the National Hare Council on Carrots.
(As the commercial ends, Mommy Hare turns off the TV and Harry Hare falls out of sight inside.)
Harriet Hare: Wasn’t Uncle Harry great?!…
Scene 3
The Scene: Harriet Hare’s home living room.
The set contains a television.
At Rise: Harriet Hare is in front of her TV with a larger than life remote control in hand. Reporter Tortoise is on the Morning News, microphone in hand.
Reporter Tortoise: But why would Tommy Tortoise race Harry Hare? (steps out in front of television) That’s like a robin racing an eagle. Everybody knows who’s going to win. Everybody knows which one’s the fastest. Inquiring minds already know! Isn’t the outcome obvious?
(Tommy Tortoise starts his long, slow entrance during next.)
Harriet Hare: For once Reporter Tortoise is talking sense. Of course we know who’s going to win! My Uncle Harry’s going to win, that’s who!
Reporter Tortoise: So then, what’s really up with this race? Inquiring minds want to know. To find out, Tommy Tortoise has agreed to an exclusive interview before today’s Great Race.
(Reporter Tortoise moves as slowly as a tortoise to greet Tommy Tortoise.)
Reporter Tortoise: Tommy Tortoise, can you tell our viewers why you agreed to this race, knowing full well that you cannot win?
Tommy Tortoise: Winning isn’t everything.
Reporter Tortoise: But certainly you know… I mean EVERYBODY knows rabbits are faster than turtles.
Tommy Tortoise: I am a tortoise, same as you. And Harry’s a hare-
Reporter Tortoise: But I wouldn’t race a rabbit-
Tommy Tortoise: I said, Harry Hare is a hare, not a rabbit. Rabbits are little, itty-bitsy-
Reporter Tortoise: Okay! Okay! He’s a great big strong hare! All the more reason not to make a fool of yourself by-
Tommy Tortoise: I am not making a fool of myself. Winning isn’t everything. It’s how you run the race that really matters.
Reporter Tortoise: But certainly you’re not saying that-
Tommy Tortoise: I’ve got to go.
(Tommy Tortoise turns away from the microphone and exits as Reporter Tortoise goes back inside the television during next.)
Tommy Tortoise: I’ve got to get to the starting line on time, you know.
Reporter Tortoise: Well there you have it, Folks, in his own words! The race will officially start at 10:00. That’s 10:00am… in three hours.
Harriet Hare: Three hours!
Reporter Tortoise: Those of you at work can tune into our sister radio station for the latest update-
(Harriet Hare punches the remote and Reporter Tortoise falls out of sight within the TV.)
Harriet Hare: I can’t bring a radio to school! And they won’t let us watch it on TV. Today’s The Great Spelling Bee! They’ll never postpone The Great Spelling Bee!
Mommy Hare: (from offstage) Harriet! Turn that television off and come to breakfast, this moment! You know you need a good breakfast, especially since today’s The Great Spelling Bee.
Harriet Hare: I’m not watching TV, Mommy!
Mommy Hare: Don’t split hairs with me! And watch that tone of voice, Young Lady!
Harriet Hare: Yes, Ma’am. I’m coming.
(Harriet Hare does not see Mommy Hare enter.)
Harriet Hare: (stomping her foot) Silly grownups!
Mommy Hare: Are you calling me silly?!
Harriet Hare: Oh, no, Mommy! I’d never call you silly! And you’d never put The Great Race smack in the middle of The Great Spelling Bee! Why didn’t Uncle Harry ask me, if I could take off school, today? Didn’t he know I’d want to be there to see?
Mommy Hare: I know, Sweetheart. I’d like to be there, myself. But we’ve all got to be where we’ve all got to be. And we’ve all got to do what we’ve all got to do. Now go eat, so you and your brother don’t miss your bus.
(Harriet Hare exits and Mommy Hare follows. Scene ends.)
