The Thieves' Christmas
a comic holiday musical
by Jean H. Klein and Fred Ewing

About the Play: A Thieves’ Christmas, a delightful holiday musical which touches the heart, takes place during the Middle Ages. Katherine, the wife of a peasant farmer, and Elspeth, her daughter, enter a dark and dangerous forest, protected only by a relic, the Staff of Balthazar, on a quest to reunite their family and foil the efforts of the two thieves who have led her husband astray. The musical is a “source of musical holiday gems,” according to the theater critic of the Virginian-Pilot.

Time: The 13th Century

Cast List:

Potter: A farmer with wanderlust and dreams.
Katherine: His wife
Elspeth: Their daughter, about 13
Farrell: A wily thief.
Quince: His doltish younger bother
Friar Anselm: A Franciscan friar from St. Martins church in the town of Wharram Percy.
The Duke Of Percy: A feudal lord
Minx: A traveling Caroler, somewhat older than the others, who has been a thief in the past
Rabbit: Another Caroler, also older, who is not always sure what is going on and is dominated by Minx.
Carolers: Other members of the caroling troupe. Each of them has a reasonably large sack in which he carries supplies and alms, etc.

(Note: The Friar can by played by a woman if she is referred to as Mother Anselm. Also, the Carolers can be of any age, male or female.)

Place: Part of the set represents the main room of the home of Katherine, Potter, and Elspeth on farmland lying somewhat outside the village of Wharram Percy.

The rest of the stage represents various glades in a forest outside of the village and approaching the manor house of the Duke (off-stage). Rocks and trees are placed on platforms at various locations and my be moved to indicate changes in place and action

From the Play:
Rabbit: (in a pontifical manner) Oh, my children. I am the ghost of Balthazar—
Duke: What is that?
Quince: Look how it hangs there—
Duke: In a hideous, abominable, nefarious, abhorrent fashion
Farrell: (scared now, too) I’ll take care of that—that—that--thing—
Duke: It’s a manifestation—a materialization—a— (pointing at Rabbit with a trembling finger) What do you want with us?
Rabbit: You have stolen my Staaaaaaf
Duke: What monstrosity— What malformation— What aberration is it that hangs there?
Quince: (pointing) That one—
Farrell: (quickly) Be quiet, you fool. (to the Duke) We don’t know anything about it.
Rabbit: You have killed the spirit of Chriiiiistmaaaaaas—
Farrell: Oh, God help us—
Quince: No one can help us now—

(The Duke genuflects and falls lower on his knees, terrified. Rabbit and the Duke and the others sing ”The Spirit of Christmas is Dying” in counterpoint.)

About the Writers
Jean Klein holds an MFA from the University of Iowa’s Writer’s Workshop. Her plays have been produced at numerous theaters throughout the country and have won awards. Her play Anansi won first place in the Virginia Highlands Festival and her Reflections in a Stained Glass Window has been among the top ranking plays in the Eugene O’Neill theater competition.
Fred Ewing taught at the University of San Francisco and is currently Artistic Advisor at Martinez Opera in California. He received a commission to compose an opera based on “Cyrano De Bergerac” and has completed an opera called “Beauty.” He conducts private voice lessons for both opera and theater people.